Our life is not about us; my life is not about me, your life is not
about you. And yet we often insist that it is about “us”.
No problem, except as we hold to self. Life is very simple - and yet it
seems so natural to us to go to a default position of “my” life being about me –
so that even though we might agree with life’s simplicity, it is very difficult
for us to live thus.
We may even turn practice into being about me, about my likes and dislikes,
what I want and need. Zazen is not about me, practice is not about me. Practice
is not about what I want or do not want, what I like or do not like, agree with
or do not agree with. If zazen, practice, is about me, especially if this is
unstated and unacknowledged, then this will entangle, make trouble and
difficulties in the habits and reactions we are caught up in. This will result
in harm and suffering even as we might continue to “call” it practice.
Life is simple and straightforward, this moment, experiencing this
moment; but as soon as this is held to in terms of self and not-self, (in body-mind,
emotion-thought reactions and all the ways we feel, sense, react, think or talk
about it) then this is carrying self forward in encountering the universe, to
paraphrase Dogen – and all sorts of difficulties and delusions multiply and
entangle. And we miss this joyous life we are. We can almost say, the more we
hold to me the less joy.
Mazu (Baso in Japanese) says, “Truth is not something that needs to be
cultivated,” - the truth that is life, being this truth of life, is not
something that needs cultivation - because we can’t be other than. Life is the
truth, is the way, the whole universe. “It’s just that you must not defile it.”
Defile what? Defile this moment that we are.
It is easy to hear the bird singing or the sound of the traffic. Most
of the time, we hear sound, we are the sound, are the universe sounding, speaking.
And yet, if that sound is the words of people that we know, or even people that
we don’t know, saying things that we agree with or disagree with, all of a
sudden we find our self entangled in agreeing, disagreeing, correcting, being
troubled by, reacting. Of course, we can be troubled by birds and traffic too. Or
tune them out to attend to chatter of all sorts, so-called internal, so-called
external, trouble our self about it, trouble others about it.
This is what Mazu is referring to as defiling. “Defiling is the
tendency of the mind preoccupied by life and death, continuously making up
things. By that, it is defiled.” When he says “it,” he means this; spelling it
out, mind-body-being. Mazu is in 8th century China, a very different
culture, using a very different language. When we use some of these words in
English, we bring along our preconceptions and dualism, all sorts of other
ideas and preconceptions about body-mind, body-mind-soul, self-world, and so
on, without even knowing that we carry those along, except that we live out of
those.
“If you want to straightforward understand the Way, Truth, then you
should understand that it is your regular mind. What is meant by regular mind?
It does not make up things, is without assenting and dissenting, accepting and
rejecting, without considering anything as either permanent or impermanent,
without discriminating between ordinary and sacred.” Or other discriminations
that we get caught up in, hold on to.
And yet we make up all sorts of things – and so practice requires us to
notice when and how we are making things up, believing, holding to and acting
out of that. Does this occur in your life? If so, how - and how do you practice
in the midst of these habit reactions?
We may accept, reject, in all sorts of ways – hindering and defiling this
moment, this functioning. In believing, holding to and acting on
discriminating, we miss this life, miss this moment, miss this joyous life we
are. Earlier I said, the more holding me the less joy, now I say the less
allowing this joy, the more holding “me.”
Of course, Mazu’s expressions aren’t all-inclusive. But he is encouraging
us to be this moment, this mind, this mind-body-world that is our regular
functioning. Not something special that requires special abilities. Just
responding to all beings right now is the entirety of the way, the truth. Way
and truth are both English translations of the Chinese word he is using.
Sayjng it differently, his teacher, Nanyue (Nangaku in Japanese), states
“It is the Dharma eye of the mind-ground that sees the way/truth.” The
mind-ground is the ground of our very being. It is our functioning from morning
to night. This is truth, this sees the truth. So, “turning”, so to speak, from holding
to the agreeing and disagreeing and all the other forms of self that we impose,
“turning” from that to the mind-ground of the regular functioning, or being
just this moment, allows us to see, to awaken to this very way, truth, that is
our life. It is nothing else. Our life is nothing but this.
“The way, truth, itself is the Dharmadhatu, the Dharma world, the world
that we are. None of its numberless, excellent, manifestations goes beyond the
Dharmadhatu. Where it not so how could we speak of the teaching of mind-ground?
How could we speak of inexhaustible light?”
Sometimes we say that sitting, practice, involves turning the light on
itself. Or, being the mind-ground that is the light; a nice practice is turning
this very light to see who/what is. Not by figuring it out but by allowing awakening
in the midst of ordinary functioning, ordinary mind/body.
It is only missed when we add on and are caught up in attachment to the
flavors of self in all the many forms, (though this is not done consciously
most of the time). We do it out of the habits of cause and effect – and miss
simply being this moment. So, zazen is this opportunity, this experiencing
moment.
Being this moment, and seeing skillfully, appropriately, what is called
for, if anything. If we are sitting upright, there is nothing called for to be
just sitting. Or there might be something called for depending on your particular
practice and life. This is what we explore individually and clarify as we
settle “in” this world revealing us, allowing the world to encounter this
moment, and allowing our self to be, to reveal, this moment encountering,
awakening. This intimacy of “not-two.”
Some might think that the ways that we have of entangling are more
complicated in modern culture. Maybe that is so. But Mazu and Nanyue are
pointing out the difficult that humans have. It doesn’t make a difference where
and when because this is a human tendency - as soon as we hold self, as soon as
we carry self forward in all our activities.
It is neither good nor otherwise - except that attaching to and holding
to defiles our life. And by defiles, Mazu means it creates stress, suffering
and harm. How we do it is important, yes. It is different if you are riding a
horse, or a motorcycle or a car, or flying a plane. But fundamentally, they are
all the same. Of course it is different in different languages and different
cultures, some things generate more self-addiction, if I say it that way.
Here is an extreme example. It is one thing if you like to have a
coffee every morning. It is another thing if you shoot up heroin every morning.
The entanglements involved are different. And the consequences are different.
And the consequences in terms of harm and suffering are different.
But the fundamental point is about what we do, in all the various ways,
each moment, to entangle and defile this truth, the regular mind functioning
that we are. And what we do in our encounters that result in harm and stress.
Even to add labels like perfect gets us in trouble. Mazu made a
point…”Without discriminating between ordinary and sacred. The bodhisattva’s
practice is neither the practice of the common person nor the practice of the
saint.”
This is really our practice, being ordinary, being everyday, and yes,
forgetting self. Just in ordinary things. Everyone eats and drinks -and we have
the opportunity of forgetting self which arises in the midst of this or of being
caught up.
Everyone uses the bathroom, dresses, washes, and yet we can be this
moment, be awake, be the dharma eye of the mind-ground of washing, pissing,
shitting - manifesting the truth. Or we can miss it.
One of my teachers’ teacher, Soen Roshi’s teacher Gempo Yamamoto Roshi,
had eye problems and poor eyesight. As his practice he did pilgrimage in Japan
going from temple to temple. Once he was at the side of the road, pissing into
the side of the road, and at the sight-sound of bubbling urine, he awakened in
this ordinary activity.
Soen Roshi said “Most important sitting is when you are shitting.” I
don’t say it to be scatological but to point out that our everyday activities
are the opportunity - just this moment.
Mazu says, “To understand the truth, simply understand that it is your
regular mind, mind-ground functioning. And the dharma eye of the mind-ground is
the inexhaustible light.”
Since I cited Nanyue, who was Mazu’s teacher, let me end with a brief
dialogue. Mazu asks his teacher, “Can this seeing (of the Dharma eye that sees
the truth) be attained by becoming something or losing something?” He’s asking
for all of us when he asks this. Is there something we need to become or is
there something we need to lose?
Nanyue says, “If the way is seen in terms of becoming or losing, in
terms of putting together or dispersing, it is not truly seeing, being the way,
the truth.” There is nothing lacking this moment.
© 2014 Elihu Genmyo Smith
